I like things neat. I like things in order. I guess I really just like perfection. You know, the kid that only walked on the black squares through the grocery store, or who has strange quirks like always adding a pinch more sugar to a batch of cookies EVERY time. Standing back from something you've done and knowing it's better than it was before. If there's something wrong, just go ahead and tackle it. I have to purposely make myself STOP and remember to enjoy the moment sometimes, instead of trying to just make things better. Ah, the reward of "fixing" things, and the sense of accomplishment that goes with it! The problem is, when perfection isn't attainable, no matter how hard you try. Some things you just can't fix. Like yourself. And, as much as you like to make things better for them, sometimes not even your kids. And it's even more frustrating when it's something obvious.
Even since I was little, I've always hated how my feet turn in. I remember walking to Cal and Sandy's house, eyes on the pavement, watching my feet, making sure they were straight. Stumbling as a kid, and my parents wondering why I fell so much. Trying so hard to correct it, and hoping people wouldn't notice. But, over time, they have. Like crashing on the ski slope and standing up in such an awkward position, my family exclaiming I MUST have broken my legs, but such a position is possible for me. Or the time I was snowboarding with friends, and I couldn't control the board as it was. We went into the shop and my guy friend asked them to, "Turn the feet in, you know, cause she's a little pigeon-toed." Ouch! But it was true. And similar comments the devil stacks up and pulls out to remind yourself how you don't measure up.
Tyler has been showing signs of the same problem. And his seems a little worse, but maybe it's just his age. I knew I was going to "handle it", "fix" it. Do what had to be done to fix such an "imperfection", so he wouldn't have to feel embarrassed. Today, we went to Dr. Boxer; and, sure enough, he shared that his tibia, or shin bone, is curved. It turns his feet in and has been causing him to trip quite a bit. But, he shared, braces have proven to not work. Unless it's very severe, they don't do anything anymore, because it would require surgery, and so it is what it is.
Until now, I just saw it as something I was going to fix. But, now, I realize, it's just something I have to ACCEPT. And, in accepting Tyler's problem, I have to accept myself. How can you expect your child to handle the comments, and (hopefully not!), teasing, if I don't have peace with the way God made me? Now, I have to admit, of all the problems to have, I'd gladly choose this one. But it is something that's bothered me. And today made me realize the way I view my beautiful, and, in my eyes, perfect child, and I know God sees me the same way. I love Tyler because he's mine, and I even love that he's like me.
In our perfection-based world, I encourage you to love the "imperfections" around you because God has His purpose in it. And we're better for it. Love and accept yourself as God does, and do the same for those around you.
Even since I was little, I've always hated how my feet turn in. I remember walking to Cal and Sandy's house, eyes on the pavement, watching my feet, making sure they were straight. Stumbling as a kid, and my parents wondering why I fell so much. Trying so hard to correct it, and hoping people wouldn't notice. But, over time, they have. Like crashing on the ski slope and standing up in such an awkward position, my family exclaiming I MUST have broken my legs, but such a position is possible for me. Or the time I was snowboarding with friends, and I couldn't control the board as it was. We went into the shop and my guy friend asked them to, "Turn the feet in, you know, cause she's a little pigeon-toed." Ouch! But it was true. And similar comments the devil stacks up and pulls out to remind yourself how you don't measure up.
Tyler has been showing signs of the same problem. And his seems a little worse, but maybe it's just his age. I knew I was going to "handle it", "fix" it. Do what had to be done to fix such an "imperfection", so he wouldn't have to feel embarrassed. Today, we went to Dr. Boxer; and, sure enough, he shared that his tibia, or shin bone, is curved. It turns his feet in and has been causing him to trip quite a bit. But, he shared, braces have proven to not work. Unless it's very severe, they don't do anything anymore, because it would require surgery, and so it is what it is.
Until now, I just saw it as something I was going to fix. But, now, I realize, it's just something I have to ACCEPT. And, in accepting Tyler's problem, I have to accept myself. How can you expect your child to handle the comments, and (hopefully not!), teasing, if I don't have peace with the way God made me? Now, I have to admit, of all the problems to have, I'd gladly choose this one. But it is something that's bothered me. And today made me realize the way I view my beautiful, and, in my eyes, perfect child, and I know God sees me the same way. I love Tyler because he's mine, and I even love that he's like me.
In our perfection-based world, I encourage you to love the "imperfections" around you because God has His purpose in it. And we're better for it. Love and accept yourself as God does, and do the same for those around you.