There is no such thing as a clean house 04/22/2012
There is no such thing as arriving. A house is never clean. In whatever it is that we want in life... there just isn't a time when something is "finished." Yes, sure there is completion of tasks, but then life happens. Stuff gets undone. Houses get dirty. Learning gets forgotten. Emotions don't last. Money falls through your hands like sand. Ideal weights become what I used to weigh. It feels like everything I do in life gets undone. Raising 3 very small children magnifies these feelings by a thousand, because everything I do gets undone by threes. The monotony of laundry, dishes, meals, diapers, wardrobe changes, discipline, and repeat can make a person feel crazy. I have been struggling with this concept lately. To the people close to me, I have been complaining about lacking productivity and a sense of worth. I thought I was past this... I already lived my teenage years. I accomplished stuff. I got a degree. I taught school with all its ratings and reports for both me and my students. I led Bible study. I had my list of "completed" things. The funny thing is that even my list of "completed" things did not stick. Yes, I still have my little list of accomplishments, but the fulfillment I found actually came from the process of doing them. A sense of purpose does not last because you were once the person who did something great. It comes from doing what you are doing for God's glory: serve others as unto the Lord. So, where does all of this lead? ... Let's store up treasures in heaven. Set Your Heart there. Matthew 6:19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Even degrees don't give what God does. Colossians 2:2 My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, 3in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 4 I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. Clean the house anyways... and give the glory to God. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. In whatever it is that we want in life... there just isn't a time when something is "finished." Yes, sure there is completion of tasks, but then life happens. Stuff gets undone. Houses get dirty. Learning gets forgotten. Emotions don't last. Money falls through your hands like sand. Ideal weights become what I used to weigh. BUT Christ, His Glory, His Gifts, His Calling, and His People are FOREVER. Praise Him... and let's do His work today. =) 2 Comments Faith:Let it take root in your heart 04/07/2012
In Christ alone my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song This Cornerstone, this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought and storm What heights of love, what depths of peace When fears are stilled, when strivings cease My Comforter, my All in All Here in the love of Christ I stand In Christ alone, who took on flesh Fullness of God in helpless babe This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones He came to save 'Till on that cross as Jesus died The wrath of God was satisfied For every sin on Him was laid Here in the death of Christ I live There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave He rose again And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost its grip on me For I am His and He is mine Bought with the precious blood of Christ No guilt in life, no fear in death This is the power of Christ in me From life's first cry to final breath Jesus commands my destiny No power of hell, no scheme of man Can ever pluck me from His hand 'Till He returns or calls me home Here in the power of Christ I'll stand (Stuart Townend/ Keith Getty) This song has been running through my head lately. Good Friday to Easter Sunday is a time to remember that death has died. If you call yourself a Christian, you must believe that Jesus Christ died to pay a debt and now, "Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me." Do you actually believe that sin has no power anymore? If you do, let go of your guilt. Do you actually believe that death does NOT win? If you do, let go of your fear. Faith...let it take root in your heart. Let it play out in your life. Let it carry you home. 9 Years Ago.. I did and still do. 03/01/2012
9 years ago today... Mike and I stood in front of over 300 people and promised our forevers. Isn't it amazing how COMPLETELY life changes after a wedding? How can a ceremony of words so completely alter the course of human life? The ceremony isn't like a physical surgery where something in your body changes. It isn't like buying your first car where you walk away with something tangible. It isn't like birth where there is instantaneously a whole new person in the room. I heard on "His Radio" the other day that marriage is an empty box. Contrarily, Culture tells us something different. Culture tells us that marriage is a present you get to open and receive Love, Romance, and Happiness. People get married and are devastated to find their box or present was empty. Culture does not realize that partners in marriage have to deposit love, romance etc into the box in order for it to be full. Some of us have seen marriage fail. Our personal history tells us that marriage is a box where hurt, resentment, and control reside. In that case, marriage as an empty box may be pleasantly surprising for a newlywed. Marriage requires the deposit of negative in order for those feelings to be present. I think I had a little bit of both positive and negative expectations going into marriage. I expected to open it up and brace myself for the big surprise. There was no surprise. I was still me, and my husband was still himself. We were just ourselves with a promise too big to keep without Jesus' love as the center. A ninth anniversary is really a baby step in a life long marriage, but I have seen a lot of deposits. I can surely say the box is full now. I never accurately imagined the relationship, the sacrifice, or the reward. There was no way to understand how my faith and the love between my husband and I would became the basis for everything important in my life. My own life and the lives of my children get roots and foundations from the promises spoken at that wedding day ceremony. I am amazed at God's faithfulness, my husband's integrity, and my own ability to continually fall in love all over again. Life COMPLETELY changes, because it is a COMPLETING process. P.S. Michael Andrew... I still do. ;) God Calling Series: Part 3: Running. 02/19/2012
 If you missed the first two parts of this series, you can access them here: Part 1: Longing Part 2: Calling I have been struggling to write lately. You have to know who you are to blog about yourself. I know who I was at 18. I know who I was at 21. I know what kind of teacher I am, but who am I now? Children are amazing. My children have given me a purpose and calling in life that far outweighs any other goal I have created for myself. It feels natural to stop talking about myself, to stop taking care of myself, and to live vicariously through them. Those are unsustainable habits, because my identity is not tied to them. My children have eternal souls, just as I have an eternal soul. My job as "caretaker" of them is extremely temporary. Some days, mothering feels like a never-ending cycle of feedings, cleanings, and laundry. But, I have already felt the incremental process of letting go in mothering: the last nursing, the first steps, the first time sleeping in a big bed, the last diaper, the first sleep over. I can already feel the stretching of my heart and faith thinking about the plethora of firsts and lasts to come: the first day of school, first time driving, the last day of school, the first date, and the day we give him/her away in marriage. Parenting is not ownership, but a relationship. I still have to know who I am, even if my children do not live with me anymore. I am changed by them but not defined by them. I do not fit into my previous molds. I feel as though I am at a decision point in my life. Again. Who am I now? I am longed for. I am called. I should run. God calls us to run the race that is set before us (Hebrews 12:1). What is that supposed to look like? Running requires purpose: an eternal prize. Focus on eternal things, not material things. 1 Corinthians 9:23-25 (NIV) I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.The Need for Self-Discipline 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Running requires you to go straight. Nothing matters except faith expressed in love. This race is not a maze. Galatians 5:6-8 (NIV) 6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. 7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. You CANNOT run with baggage entangling you. These are those days when you can't stop thinking about a hurting friend, the days when you watch your child struggle, the days when the money does not add up to enough and you are coveting what someone else has. Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, If you keep your eyes on Jesus while you run, you won't get tired. Hebrews 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. All of my questioning, observing, and configuring of my own emotions isn't who I am anyways. Who am I now? I am a runner. So are my kids. So are you. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. Enjoy your run today!
(Photo Credit: Sura Nualpradid) If you missed it, here is the first part of the series: God Calling: Part 1 Longing  Today. Fighting a bug at home with my 3 yr old, 2 yr old, and 3 month old. My day peaked in mid afternoon when I decided to let the kids ride their bikes while I pushed the stroller. Abigail is just learning, so she requires me to give her a boost every few feet. Clayton is a speeder on his, and gets impatient waiting on us. The walk went fine. We never even saw a car the whole time. We were almost back to the house on our very quiet road. Clayton was probably 10 feet in front of me, and I saw a car. I said, "Clayton, Get in the grass there is a car." He usually obeys this command immediately, because he is careful by nature. I'm not sure if I even looked down, but I know I looked up and Clayton had decided to cross the street to go to our house instead. The careening old truck was now a few feet from my son as I was screaming helpless, "Clayton!!!!!AHHHHH." He stopped in the middle of the road. The truck swerved and barreled by almost hitting our mailbox. Stillness... Me. My baby in a stroller. My little girl next to me. My son on his bike on the yellow lines 15 feet away from me. Everyone perfectly fine. Everyone perfectly out of my control. So, what do I do? Try to control. Grab Clayton, bring him to the grass and force understanding yelling, "you could have been smashed!" I didn't do anything terrible really. As a parent, I think everyone acts angry. Yet, thinking about it now, I could cringe. Not because my actions were so terrible, but because it is who I am. Out of Control. Literally. Sinful. Anger appears as a means for control, but it is not. I am overwhelmed by my own inability and unworthiness. The fact that God takes care of my children (my calling right now) better than me, makes me feel small. What does that have to do with God calling and God longing for you? Listen to the story of Peter's calling. Simon Peter and I would have gotten along. He was a doer. He knew what he was doing. He struggled with anger. I get him. Simon Peter was a fisherman, and God called. Imagine a crowd gathering beside a lake to hear Jesus speak. You know how crowds press. Jesus told Simon Peter to push the boat out on the lake so he could speak from it. I can imagine how people listened. Then, later on, Jesus told Peter to put out the fishing nets in deep water. (This is my favorite part) Simon Peter responded (Luke 5:5) "Master, We've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets." Because you say so! Really Simon Peter? I love how he made it perfectly clear that this is ridiculous. Oh, the abundance in obedience. (Luke 5:6-7) They caught so many fish that their nets began to break, and they had to get another boat. Both boats began to sink. Wow. Because He says so is pretty powerful indeed! Luke 5:8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9 For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Simon Peter reacted like that really? He fell on his knees and asked Jesus to leave? I understand it. Today, I was asked to be obedient. Today, I feel like a fished all night and got nothing out of it. Today, I sent my empty nets flying. Today, I'm in the abundance of his mercy and provision. I have the same reaction. "But Lord, I'm soooooooo bad at this! But Lord, I'm sooooo sinful. Not Me! Go Away because I can't stand how I see myself when you are near." Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” 11 So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Okay Lord. God Called. God Calls. It is not the righteous that he calls, but the sinner. Obey Him today. Even if the only reason you can think of is "because You said so." Watch the abundance in obedience! Alysha
It's not about you anyways. 01/30/2012
Have you ever questioned yourself? Of course you have...we all have. But I mean have you ever Googled your brightest idea only to find out that it has already been thought of way better, bigger, brighter, and ten years earlier than your idea? Well, that is where I am at right now. So, the question is... why have the idea in the first place? Do you think God can use you and your not quite measuring up idea? Let's read some scripture on it: Philipians 3:7-21 7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained. 17 Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. 18 For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Yes! He can. It is not about you anyways. Until the day of our transformation...Keep on. Count EVERYTHING else loss. Some people don't know. I want to know Christ, and I want others to know Him too.  Since When. 01/28/2012
I like things neat. I like things in order. I guess I really just like perfection. You know, the kid that only walked on the black squares through the grocery store, or who has strange quirks like always adding a pinch more sugar to a batch of cookies EVERY time. Standing back from something you've done and knowing it's better than it was before. If there's something wrong, just go ahead and tackle it. I have to purposely make myself STOP and remember to enjoy the moment sometimes, instead of trying to just make things better. Ah, the reward of "fixing" things, and the sense of accomplishment that goes with it! The problem is, when perfection isn't attainable, no matter how hard you try. Some things you just can't fix. Like yourself. And, as much as you like to make things better for them, sometimes not even your kids. And it's even more frustrating when it's something obvious. Even since I was little, I've always hated how my feet turn in. I remember walking to Cal and Sandy's house, eyes on the pavement, watching my feet, making sure they were straight. Stumbling as a kid, and my parents wondering why I fell so much. Trying so hard to correct it, and hoping people wouldn't notice. But, over time, they have. Like crashing on the ski slope and standing up in such an awkward position, my family exclaiming I MUST have broken my legs, but such a position is possible for me. Or the time I was snowboarding with friends, and I couldn't control the board as it was. We went into the shop and my guy friend asked them to, "Turn the feet in, you know, cause she's a little pigeon-toed." Ouch! But it was true. And similar comments the devil stacks up and pulls out to remind yourself how you don't measure up. Tyler has been showing signs of the same problem. And his seems a little worse, but maybe it's just his age. I knew I was going to "handle it", "fix" it. Do what had to be done to fix such an "imperfection", so he wouldn't have to feel embarrassed. Today, we went to Dr. Boxer; and, sure enough, he shared that his tibia, or shin bone, is curved. It turns his feet in and has been causing him to trip quite a bit. But, he shared, braces have proven to not work. Unless it's very severe, they don't do anything anymore, because it would require surgery, and so it is what it is. Until now, I just saw it as something I was going to fix. But, now, I realize, it's just something I have to ACCEPT. And, in accepting Tyler's problem, I have to accept myself. How can you expect your child to handle the comments, and (hopefully not!), teasing, if I don't have peace with the way God made me? Now, I have to admit, of all the problems to have, I'd gladly choose this one. But it is something that's bothered me. And today made me realize the way I view my beautiful, and, in my eyes, perfect child, and I know God sees me the same way. I love Tyler because he's mine, and I even love that he's like me. In our perfection-based world, I encourage you to love the "imperfections" around you because God has His purpose in it. And we're better for it. Love and accept yourself as God does, and do the same for those around you. Last night my 3 year old son Clayton had his first sleep over with his best friend. He did great there and was very happy when we met up at Starbucks. Then, he realized that he had to come home with me. This scenario created a mild melt down at first. I just told him to shape up and say thank-you for a nice time. I visited for a few minutes not minding his quiet sulking. Now, there is some background information you must know. I am NOT by nature either patient or gentle. I actually struggle with fits of rage probably as much as the 2 and 3 year olds I am trying to parent. I am loving, but in my loud, authoritative way. I have been praying for patience and the ability to parent without yelling, because I know the brain research behind yelling. I studied psychology in preparation to become a teacher. The recipient of yelling goes into to flight or flight mode and literally does NOT hear what you are saying. They are just surviving. The knowledge I have from teaching worked great in the classroom. I could always keep my cool in a class full of 12 year olds, because I knew "I only have ___ minutes left." Parenting, on the other hand, can make me feel like there is no escape. This is for-ev-er. At that point, a wire snaps in my brain and all my knowledge gives way to my own self preservation and sanity... which usually surfaces as "ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Just ...... arghhhhhhhh!" Now, back to Starbucks and the growing melt-down. I just start to pull out thinking that he will snap out of it. Clayton had other ideas and escalates. He started yelling repeatedly, "I wanna go to RAIDEN'S HOUSE! You're naughty mommy!!!! I don't want you!" He was thrashing at this point. The thought of driving 20 min home made me cringe, so I pull back into a parking spot and get firm, "You don't speak to me that way." I give him the count down, "1....2.....3.... Now that really did it! Finally, I tell him he needs to calm down and try to take him from the car, as he is grabbing the car seats. God must really answer prayer, because I was somehow calm! I was given patience and to my surprise... understanding washed over me! I grabbed my little boy in a big hug and said, "Just tell mom who loves you that you are really really sad, and it is just too much to handle alone." I continued to hug him, and my little boy went limp and hugged me back. There we were sitting in the middle of the Starbucks parking lot...hugging. We just didn't let go of each other. Tears starting to fill my eyes, and my little boy just cried: Not spunking, Not yelling, just sad. At that moment, I can picture my heavenly father quietly talking to me in my fits of rage, "Just call on me." "Just tell me this is more than you can handle. I will carry you." Oh how I love him! Oh how he loves me! Now... I can love my kids. I can be patient. I can be gentle. Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. P.S. This blog was in part inspired by one that I read a few weeks ago called the gentleness challenge.
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Alysha Parkkonen I am Alysha Parkkonen. I am a child of God. I am the mother of 3 and spend all of my time with my children. This is the spot to hear about my thoughts: INK SPOT, our crafts: DESIGN SPOT, their funnies and teaching opportunities: KID SPOT. Hang out and don't forget to leave YOUR SPOTS behind. Grab A Button |
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